Pages tagged elena dementieva

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Hundreds of prizes up for grabs!

I've received complaints that I have not written enough, or anything, lately.

I'd like to congratulate the complaining parties on their exceptional powers of observation. They are quite correct, and obvioualy have enormous testicles. Even the girl.

The reason I have not written anything is because .. I haven't felt like it.

It's much more difficult to write movie reviews a number of hours after you saw the movie than immediately, and now that Marcin lives in the city and I am not home for a good while after the movie ends, by the time I get home I don't feel like writing anything, and the next day I've forgotten what I'd wanted to write anyway.

So it's all Marcin's fault. Stop complaining to me!

In other news, Nicole Kidman just won an award for "Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical" at the Golden Globes for her role in Moulin Rouge.

Didn't anybody notice how much she sucked in that? Come on .. That was such a terrible film, and she was so bad in it .. There was obviously a lot of money changing hands before the awards ceremony.

On Friday night, I went to the Midnight Cinema to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Now that was a good film. However, the screen was absolutely tiny! Not a good thing when you need to read the subtitles to forget you're sitting in the most uncomfortable cinema in history... And my concession ticket cost $11 .. Other poor suckers paid $14.

The tennis has been in Australia, and of course that means we can't get enough of Anna Kournikova. Well, I can. I don't see what's so special about her .. Seriously, she's just blonde. She's not good looking, she doesn't have big tits, she only puts out if you're a 37 year old ice hockey player, and most importantly, she can't play tennis. My dead grandmother could beat her!


This is my proposed solution.

Elena Dementieva.

She is russian, just like Anna Kournikova. She is blonde, just like Anna Kournikova. She is thin, just like Anna Kournikova. She is considerably better looking than Anna Kournikova. She is half a foot taller than Anna Kournikova. She doesn't have Kournikova's American accent, and again most importantly, she can play tennis. She is currently ranked #17 in the world but has been as high as #12. Anna Kournikova is currently ranked #64.

The only downside is that she is currently less popular than Anna Kournikova. That means there are no photos of her in her underwear. No photos with her in her swimming costume. No photos taken with telephoto lenses of her sunbathing topless, and no advertisements on the television with her jumping around and smiling a lot.

While these things barely existed for tennis players before Kournikova, they are pretty much the definition of her success, now, and to overcome her, you need even more exposure.

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