Review: Minority Report
In the future, criminals are caught before the crimes they commit, but one of the officers in the special unit is accused of one such crime and sets out to prove his innocence.
Rating: 2 / 10
Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. THIS FUCKEN MOVIE.
What a load of shit! Steven Spielberg should've been gassed on the set of Schindler's List, and whoever "adapted" the novel to the screenplay should be made to eat my shit, then shit my shit, then eat their shit that's mixed with my shit, and could also do with a good kicking.
I have yet to read the original story, but it was written by Philip K. Dick, who wrote Bladerunner, Total Recall, and many other superb stories that were made into superb films, so I have no hesitation in assuming it was an awful adaptation which in fact borrowed only the main plot points from the original story.
Those plot points, both of them, were the only reason I didn't urinate on a fellow audience member in sheer disgust at the end of the film.
The dialogue and acting were brilliantly paired, with neither being obviously more low-budget than the other.
The movie progressed like a child's story, tentatively plodded out in the best-smelling colour of crayon. Useful pieces of information continually sprang forth from nowhere, forming a series of disjointed events obviously intended to serve one of two available purposes. The first being to explain something you'd need to know so the "twist" would make sense (though in case it didn't, there was a character thrown in to repeat the same motivational line for 10 minutes) and the second purpose being to show off a few special effects - Clearly the only reason the film was made.
As if this vacuum weren't enough to turn even the most imaginative mind to jelly, every scene in the movie had an excess of product placement. I don't think there was a single gadget, vehicle, appliance, or item of clothing that wasn't clearly labelled with the name and logo of an existing prominent corporation. Do you think advertisers in film pay per screening, or just a one-off fee when the movie's made?
Fuck, I dunno. If the film has any value at all it's as a big-screen big-sound wower, so I suppose if you're going to see it, see it at the cinema .. but try to go on a cheap day.
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